Monday, November 2, 2009

How to Get Your Ex Back After an Affair: Learn to Restore Trust to Save a Relationship

If you've cheated and you're wondering how to get your ex back after the affair, then it's time to think about how to restore trust in order to save your relationship.

An affair is not the end of a relationship no matter what anyone says.  If both you and your spouse or partner are willing to work at it, you can find trust again and save your relationship for good.

Restoring trust in a relationship means shifting your attitudes and changing the way you both act.  You both need to begin saving your relationship by dealing with the level of trust between you.

Think about the core issue at hand.  If you were led astray and had an affair, you need to think about the real reason you cheated.  There is likely something lacking in the relationship that led you to seek something outside of it.

You wouldn't have an affair if your relationship was perfect.  So you need to try to figure out what it was you were running from by pinpointing exactly what it was you were running to.

In order to be able to restore trust between you and your spouse or partner, you need to work at the underlying problems in your relationship.  This might mean you see a counselor or therapist together or it might mean just working together to get through it.

After you figure out what the root cause may be, you need to work together to come up with a plan of action for actually solving the problem.  Don't just talk about the issues you have, actually act on them in order to tackle them.

Make small promises to each other that take steps towards solving your problems, and actually keep them.  Show your partner or spouse that you can be true to your word.  This is the first and simplest way to restore trust in your relationship after you've cheated.  You have to win back their confidence that you can be trusted.

Your spouse or partner will need to be reassured that you can change, so apologize as often as they need to hear it and realize that this is not an easy mistake to forgive.  Be patient and understanding.

Try to keep the faith between both of you that the affair can actually improve your relationship by making it stronger.  Even though restoring trust in a relationship after an affair takes time and energy, you can actually become an even better couple when you both pull through it together.

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