Monday, November 2, 2009

5 Signs Your Relationship is Toxic (And 5 Steps Towards Getting Out of a Toxic Relationship!)

Are you wondering if you're in a toxic relationship?  Here are 5 signs that will help you tell.  And stay tuned afterwards for what to actually do about them!
  1. Your partner or spouse puts you down in front of other people.
  2. Your partner says they love you, but acts otherwise.
  3. Your partner is controlling and possessive, constantly snooping around and checking up on you.
  4. Your partner does everything they can to make you dependent on them.
  5. You find yourself changing things about yourself just to please them.
If these hit a little too close to home for you, you might just be in a toxic relationship, but don't fear.  There are things you can do to get out of this situation that is emotionally or even physically harmful.

A relationship that's truly toxic has a cycle.  Usually there's a honeymoon period followed by some kind of huge blowout which is often followed by some sort of reconciliation before the cycle begins again.

Some people end up in toxic relationships because their childhood resembled one and so it's all they know.  Others feel the need to take care of someone, and so they end up in relationships with highly flawed individuals.  Still others just don't have the self-confidence to think they deserve any better.

Here are some simple steps you can take to get out and stay out of the toxic relationship:
  1. Realize that you have other choices and that you don't deserve this.
  2. Stand up for yourself and do not bear the blame for everything.
  3. Seek therapy or counseling to help you articulate how the relationship makes you feel.
  4. Commit to treating yourself with more respect.
  5. Verbalize your plan of action to your partner or spouse.
You are capable of breaking the cycle of toxic relationships and go out to find healthier relationships with people who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

If you feel your relationship can be saved (as almost all real relationships can), you must find a way to open up honest communication between you and put forth a great deal of effort towards renewing the bonds between you and replacing the toxicity with love and respect.

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